Have you ever dealt with a narcissist in real life? If so, then you know they are bad, bad news.

Narcissists can come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Some are magnetic and charming… on the surface. While others are always moody and withdrawn.

Too often, kind and Loving people do not realize they are dealing with a narcissist — or that they are tangled in a narcissist’s deceptive and vampiric web — until they find their lives devolving into chaos, trauma, abuse and toxicity.

How can you spot a narcissist early on? 

So you can quickly block them from having any access or control over your Life and your mental health? 

In this episode of my Fascinating with Sasha Tobago podcast, I break down the official definition, and the unofficial definition, for a “narcissist.” Here’s a revised excerpt:

“Narcissism” is a term that has been taking over pop culture, and the way people talk about a dangerous form of human behavior, for over a decade. 

Before that, it was used mostly in literature classes (i.e., the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo); and in psychiatrist and psychiatric type of circles and language. But now it’s become part of pop culture.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term narcissist, let me give you a quick definition. Now there are two ways to look at it:

There is the psychology, psychiatric way of looking at it, where they have various distinct definitions for what they call a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). 

Psychiatrists estimate that only 1 to 2 percent of the population has NPD. 

According to the American Psychiatric Association, here are some of the key traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder: 

• Have a grandiose sense of self importance. So they exaggerate their achievements and their talents. 

• Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love. 

• Believe they are special; and they can only be understood by other special or high status people. 

• Require excessive admiration. 

• Have an uber sense of entitlement. 

• Oftentimes, their expectations of others is completely unreasonable. 

• Like to take advantage of others to achieve their own ends. 

• Lack empathy. 

• Unwilling to recognize, identify with, or care about the feelings and needs of others. 

• Often envious of other people. And, at the same time, they believe tons and tons of people are envious of them. 

• Can be extremely arrogant, haughty, and have an attitude. 

Now, does only 1 to 2 percent of the population have these traits? 

Absolutely not! 

Quite frankly, millions of people around the world have a dangerous combination of several of these traits. 

Granted, I wouldn’t diagnose them as having NPD. Rather, they’re just extremely selfish, unempathetic people. They are societal narcissists.  

A core reason they are so selfish and unempathetic is because they lack Self Love. Societal narcissists have low self esteem. They don’t really know themselves that well. They don’t hold themselves accountable. 

Many of them, they don’t really like to spend time alone with themselves. They hate being alone with their own thoughts because, oftentimes, they have trauma dating back to childhood, which has them stuck. Because they have not healed and evolved past that. 

A lot of the traits that are listed in the psychiatric definition of NPD, it applies to just normal selfish people. And you know exactly what I’m talking about. 

You have people in your family; in your friend group (although they shouldn’t be in your friend group); more than likely, you have managers or supervisors or VPs or CEOs who fit these traits perfectly.

Many narcissists are attracted to being in high-level positions, or they seek fame or power, because they are constantly in need of external validation. 

So they seek out, and they are laser focused on, achieving wealth and success. 

They laser focus on becoming the head of a company; or becoming the head of a country. This is something they aim their lives toward achieving. 

Not so they can help other people. Narcissists don’t really care about other people. They don’t have the depth of Self Love within themselves to care about other people. 

Rather, they seek wealth, fame, or status in order to try and feel better about themselves. Because their self esteem and their Love for themselves is so incredibly low. 

One major thing to know about societal narcissists is that they are extremely insecure.

The way they move through the world; the decisions they make; and how they live their lives are all based on this incredible low level of self esteem; insecurity; lack of Self Love; and a constant, excessive need for external validation….

🎙️ Listen to the full episode

What is the Secret to True Happiness in Life? — Jim Carrey, Billion Dollar Lies and You (Happiness Part 1)